You feel unsure in yourself when you’re in a crowd.
You feel unsure of what to say to the person across from you.
You feel unsure even when you want to connect with someone… but something is stopping you.

That something is fear.

Fear can feel big and consuming. Sometimes so overwhelming it takes up all the space in the room. Feeling insecure or shy is part of being human. Some of us feel it more deeply than others, but at some point, we’ve all been there.

We fear that any movement, sound, or glance will signal to everyone around us that we’re present… and they’ll look. Maybe they’ll judge how we’re dressed. Maybe they’ll sense our discomfort. And somehow, their gaze only confirms what we fear most: that we don’t belong or aren’t enough. And the moment spirals.

So many of us want to overcome this.
We want to feel confident walking into a room.
We want to ask a stranger for directions without rehearsing it 10 times.
We want to hold eye contact in conversation.
We want to stop imagining everyone is waiting for us to mess up.

But how do we overcome that kind of fear?

You may not like this answer… it might make you want to run in the other direction, but here it is:

You have to do the thing that scares you.

Yes, your heart will pound. Your cheeks will burn. Your hands may shake like a washing machine on full spin.
And sometimes… you will embarrass yourself. Because again, you’re human.

But once you do the scary thing once, you’ll be able to do it again. And again. And again.
Each time, it will feel a little less terrifying. You’ll feel a little more powerful. You’ll start to realize: the thing you gave so much power to… wasn’t actually that scary.

I want to remind you: You can regain control of these small (and big) moments in your life.
It won’t be instant and it might take a whole lot of awkward and uncomfortable interactions but with each one, you’ll build the muscle of self-trust.

I want to share a concept that changed the way I think about fear:

100 Days of Rejection, created by Jia Jiang.
He set out to get intentionally rejected for 100 days to become less afraid of hearing “no.” He asked strangers for odd or bold things like $100, a burger refill, to dance with a waitress. At first, it was uncomfortable. But over time, he grew braver and oddly enough, people started saying “yes.”

This experiment helped Jiang stop tying his self-worth to external responses.
And it helped him reclaim power from fear.

As someone who still struggles with confidence, I’ve been taking small steps for a few years now. But I’m ready to challenge myself even more.

So I’m starting my own version of the rejection challenge:

100 Days of Confidence Therapy.

This is going to help me grow, not just as a person, but as a coach, mentor, and friend.
I want to put into practice what I preach.
And I invite you to join me.

If you (or someone you know) wants to build confidence and step outside of your comfort zone, I hope you’ll come along on this journey. One intentional interaction at a time.

Let’s stop letting fear dictate how fully we show up in our lives.
You are allowed to be bold, messy, visible, and free.
And I’m reminding myself: I’m the only thing standing in the way of being more authentically me.

Look out for my next blog post where I will be sharing more about my 100 Days of Confidence Therapy.