This week, I was reminded of the quiet power that comes from being secure in yourself.
Too often, we stop ourselves before we even try, believing we’re not as good as others, forgetting that comparison was never the point. We extend kindness and generosity so freely to others yet struggle to give it to ourselves.
When we constantly compare, we overlook our worth. When we were never meant to be the same as anyone else.
If you feel like you aren’t giving yourself the love and credit you deserve, here’s where to begin:
Step 1: Make a strengths list
Write down the positive qualities you notice about yourself (big or small). These don’t need to be achievements; they can simply be the parts of you that make you feel proud, alive, or connected.
- Being a loyal friend
- Making the perfect cup of coffee
- Offering kindness to your neighbour
- Bringing humour into tense moments
At first, this might feel uncomfortable because we’ve been conditioned to downplay our strengths. But look closely at your everyday life – your uniqueness is already showing up, even if you don’t notice it yet.
Step 2: Act on your strengths
Once you’ve written them down, choose one strength and put it into practice this week. For example:
- If you’re a great friend → call or invite someone out.
- If you’re good at connecting with others → introduce yourself to someone new.
This proves to yourself that your existing strengths already make you capable, confident, and valuable.
Step 3: Build towards new challenges
After anchoring in what you do well, identify one area you’d like to grow in. Then, break it down into micro-steps.
For example, if public speaking terrifies you:
- Say hi to a stranger.
- Ask for directions (even if you don’t need them).
- Start conversations with colleagues.
- Invite a small group of friends for dinner.
- Share a short story at a gathering.
Each small step builds proof that you are brave, capable, and moving closer to your bigger goals.
Confidence doesn’t mean fixing everything at once. It means noticing what you already do well, acting on it, and then expanding your comfort zone step by step. Over time, those small actions create a sense of security and authenticity that comparison can never give you.
