Over the past few weeks, people have reached out to ask me about my confidence journey asking how I’m doing it, where I started, and how they could begin too.
It made me realise something: so many of us want more for ourselves, but we don’t know where to start.

Six weeks in, I feel like a different person. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it. Here’s what I’ve learnt so far and some advice if you’re looking for a way to begin your own journey.

1. Do the thing that scares you

Most of us live on autopilot, accepting labels we’ve been given or settling for less than our full potential. Change begins the moment you step outside your comfort zone.
If something doesn’t sit right with you, don’t wait. Start now.

2. Show up for yourself until you’re confident

If you tell yourself you’re shy, you’ll act shy, and people will treat you that way.
If you tell yourself you’re confident, you’ll act more confidently, and others will mirror that back to you.

Ways to practice confidence:

• Stand tall, even in uncomfortable moments
• Speak up for yourself and others
• Act in alignment with your values (e.g., don’t laugh at jokes you disagree with)
• Be the first; to raise your hand, cheer, dance, or message a friend
• Do the thing that makes you feel “too seen” because people notice far less than you think

3. You can’t control others, but you can control you

Before this journey, I was paralysed by fears of being judged, ignored, or misunderstood. Now I know: how others see me doesn’t define who I am.

• If someone isn’t reciprocating in a conversation, politely move on.
• If people aren’t asking you questions, step in and share your story.
• If walking into a room alone makes you anxious, do it with proud posture and remind yourself you belong there.

4. Use the 5-second rule

When doubt creeps in, count down from 5 and act before your brain talks you out of it.

Examples:

• Send the work email you’ve been avoiding
• Make that phone call
• Ask someone out (for a date or a friend coffee)
• Say no when you need to protect your boundary

5. Act like your future self

Visualise your most authentic, confident self.
How do they smile, speak, stand, interact?
Use that vision as your compass. Each time you act in alignment with your future self, you’re bringing that version of you into the present.

6. It doesn’t happen overnight

In the beginning, I pressured myself to make every day “perfectly confident.” But confidence isn’t about perfection. It’s about micro-actions and micro-interactions that build over time.

There are still moments when I don’t feel confident, and that’s okay. What matters is that I’m showing up for myself in ways I never used to, and I’m proud of that progress.

7. Preparation builds confidence

Anxiety thrives in uncertainty. Preparation gives you a safety net.

• Prepare with intention: research, make lists, communicate your needs, and use grounding habits (like saying what you’re doing out loud to reduce anxiety later on in the day).
• Stay present: anxiety lives in the future, so anchor yourself in the moment.
• Reframe quickly: fears lose their power when you shrink them down. Remind yourself: “Even if the worst happens, I’ll handle it.”

Confidence is not something you “arrive at.” It’s a practice. It’s choosing to do the scary thing, stand tall, and act in line with who you want to become. One small step at a time.

If you’re waiting for the perfect moment to begin your own journey, this is it. Start now.

Reach out to me if you need any support, advice or encouragement to start your own confidence journey.