In the heat of the moment, it can feel impossible to believe things will ever get better. Our emotions take the front seat, and it takes an incredible amount of energy just to stay calm, not react impulsively, and resist the urge to “fix” the problem right away.

Think back to a time when you honestly believed, “This is the end of the world.”
Maybe it was a fight with a close friend, a missed opportunity, or a disappointing grade.

This is a reminder that the way you feel right now isn’t permanent.

There’s a concept from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan: Distress Tolerance. It’s about learning to sit with emotional pain without rushing to react, avoid, or numb it.

When we’re overwhelmed, we tend to:

• Lash out or shut down
• Numb (with food, screens, distractions)
• Fix things instantly just to stop the discomfort

But not all pain needs to be solved immediately.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply acknowledge what you’re feeling and wait.

With time, clarity comes. Your next steps will reveal themselves.

Here are five powerful ways to accept the flow

1. Healthy Distraction (not avoidance)
It’s not about suppressing emotions –  it’s about giving your brain time to settle.

• Do something with your hands or body: organize your room, go for a walk, do some doodles.
• Help a friend with something small –  like finding the perfect outfit or grocery shopping.
• Watch a silly comedy, even a bad one. Give your brain a break.

2. Soothe Yourself
Turn to things that feel like a warm hug.

• Your favourite cup of tea
• A cozy blanket and candle
• A long, hot bath

These small acts remind your nervous system: you’re safe.

3. Create a Positive Shift

• Visualize what your life might look like after this hard moment passes
• Say calming affirmations:
  “This moment will pass.”
  “Everything will work out.”
• Try deep breathing or journaling what you’re feeling – no filter needed.

4. Acceptance
The truth? Some things are out of your control.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up – it means pausing the fight.
Tell yourself:

“I can’t control everything. What will be, will be. I’ll try again when I’m ready.”

5. Talk It Out
Whether it’s your coach, a therapist, your best friend or even your dog – saying your feelings out loud helps you process.
Sometimes we just need to vent before we react.
Perspective often comes when we give our pain a voice.

Not every problem needs an immediate solution. Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause, breathe, and take things one day at a time.

You’re doing better than you think – even when it doesn’t feel like it.

“What difficult thing did you get through last year… that feels so much smaller now?”

Let that be your reminder:
This moment will pass.
And so will the next one.