I just had my honours graduation and as I looked around at a few of my fellow graduates – many of whom kept their guard up as people applauded them on stage – it made me reflect on something I’ve quietly wondered about for years.

You see, growing up in my family we always celebrated the big milestones with dinners, cards and praising words. But not everyone feels comfortable receiving love and recognition in that way. We all know the people who shrink a little when the birthday song starts. Laugh off compliments. Downplay achievements. Not because they’re not proud – but because being in the spotlight always made them a little uncomfortable.

Why is it that we flinch when people celebrate us? Why do we brush off praise with a “Oh, it was nothing,” or joke our way through a moment that actually means something?

Maybe it’s because we don’t want to seem arrogant.
Maybe it’s because we’re not used to being seen.
Or maybe it’s because we’ve been taught that humility means invisibility.

But the truth is: this moment matters.
And learning to let it in – is part of the growth.

There’s a psychological concept called the spotlight effect – it’s the idea that we tend to overestimate how much other people notice us. That self-consciousness? That feeling of too many eyes on you when someone claps or compliments you? It’s likely far bigger in your head than it is in theirs.

But here’s the twist: sometimes people are watching… and it’s not a bad thing.

Letting others witness your growth, your hard work, your success – it’s not attention-seeking.
It’s connection. It’s acknowledgment. It’s a quiet kind of intimacy.

When we let people celebrate with us, we build trust. We say, “Yes, you’re allowed to see me fully – not just in struggle, but in strength too.”

Learn to savour the moment.

In positive psychology, there’s a practice called savouring – the art of slowing down and stretching out joy.
It’s the act of letting good feelings linger.

Think about it: how often do you pause to really enjoy a moment you’ve worked for?
To sit in the glow of it, instead of rushing to the next task or brushing it aside?

Graduating reminded me that we should all be better at that.
You should be able to say, “Thank you,” when people congratulate you – not “Oh, it was nothing.”
Let joy in. Let pride in. Let love in.

Because those things aren’t indulgent. They’re essential.

Let Yourself Feel It

If you struggle to be celebrated, you’re not alone.
But today, I hope you give yourself permission to stand still in your milestone.
To receive the compliments.
To stay in the moment while people clap.
To let your hard work be seen, and loved, and recognized.

You’ve earned this.
So take a deep breath… and let it in.