As I sit here in Amboseli, where I made the image of the elephant, contemplating life’s twists and turns, a question has been echoing in my mind.
What is the one thing you know you need to change in your life, but haven’t yet?
I’m willing to bet that each of you reading this immediately thought of something. That awareness is powerful – it’s the first step towards growth. But as we all know too well, recognizing the need for change and actually making it happen are two very different beasts.
Life moves in seasons, and change is inevitable. We’ve all heard the saying, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” So why is it that when faced with big decisions, we often struggle to commit to the very changes we know, deep down, we need to make?
Many of us find ourselves in a peculiar holding pattern. We make mental decisions to change, convincing ourselves we’re on the road to transformation. But if we’re brutally honest with ourselves, we’re often too afraid to follow through completely.
It’s almost like being in an abusive relationship – with ourselves.
We recognize the need for change, understanding it’s crucial for our well-being, peace of mind, and personal growth. Yet, just as we’re about to take that leap, something shifts. The familiar suddenly seems more appealing, and we find reasons to maintain the status quo. Deep down, though, we know we’re only delaying the inevitable, pushing difficult decisions further down the road.
As I navigate my own crossroads, contemplating a significant decision I need to make before year’s end, I’ve found it helpful to focus on both the pain points and pleasure points. By examining what causes stress and anxiety in my current situation, and then envisioning the peace and happiness waiting on the other side of this mountain, I’m able to break down the reasons for change more clearly.
I love the following two quotes and have been leaning inti them a lot.
1. “What would your tomorrow want you today to do?” This helps assess each action and decision by considering its future impact.
2. “The magic you’re looking for is in the decisions you’re avoiding.” This serves as a powerful reminder that growth often lies just beyond our comfort zone.
Too often, we avoid change because we’re afraid – afraid of disappointing others. But in doing so, we risk disappointing ourselves, a far more insidious and messed up outcome. That disappointment may not be immediate, but it lingers, feeding the dark voices in our heads.
Fear is often described as being a mile wide but only an inch deep. The thoughts and fears holding us back are usually far bigger in our minds than they are in reality. It’s a bit fucked up, isn’t it? That these exaggerated fears are what’s holding all of us back from our potential.
Think about it – what’s that nagging voice in the back of your mind telling you to change?
Maybe it’s urging you to leave a relationship that’s been draining your energy for years, where you’ve been hoping things would improve but deep down know they won’t.
Or perhaps it’s that job you’ve been in for so long – the one that once challenged and excited you, but now leaves you feeling stagnant and unfulfilled.
It could be your health – that voice reminding you it’s time to prioritize your well-being, to finally commit to regular exercise or to address that lingering medical concern you’ve been putting off.
For some, it might be about confronting a long-held fear, like public speaking or traveling alone.
Maybe it’s about setting boundaries with family members who’ve overstepped for years, or finally pursuing that passion project you’ve been dreaming about but never started.
These changes can feel monumental, scary even. But remember, they’re also the gateway to a more authentic, fulfilling, happy life.
I know mine.
What change is calling out to you?
I will share my journey, my change and my decisions in due course, but for now I urge you to take yourself seriously. Honor your needs, wants, and desires for change. Take the plunge. You might be surprised at how shallow that pool of fear really is.
So, I’ll leave you with the same question I started with – and if you feel comfortable, I’d love for you to share your thoughts…
What is the one thing that you know you have to change in your life but haven’t yet?
