There’s a word I carry close to my heart — Énouement. Pronounced ahn-oo-mahn, it’s a French word that captures the bittersweet feeling of being in the future, knowing how things turned out, but being unable to tell your past self.
That word puts my life into perspective. I even had it tattooed on me a few years ago – a daily reminder that no matter how hard things get, I will get through them. And not just get through, but grow stronger, braver, and more myself in the process.
I’ve learned to appreciate and love all the past versions of me – the one who struggled through exams, tough friendships, and financial stress. And I feel pure joy for the carefree, spontaneous ones – the versions who laughed loudly, played freely, and didn’t take life too seriously.
Sometimes, I wish I could go back and comfort those younger versions of myself. But I am her now. And I get to offer myself the kindness and understanding I needed back then. That’s the gift of perspective.
School wasn’t always easy for me. I struggled academically and socially, and my quiet, shy nature didn’t exactly shine in an environment that rewarded top achievers. I wasn’t naturally good at math, to my dad’s horror, and often felt like I didn’t belong. I repeated Grade 3, and for years I carried the weight of that shame. But in hindsight, it was one of the best things that could have happened to me.
Looking back, I see now that my shyness was developing into something powerful: the ability to listen deeply and be patient. The experiences of feeling unseen and underestimated didn’t break me — it shaped me. And it shaped the coach I am today.
So this is a message for anyone who feels like they aren’t enough. Maybe you’re not top of your class. Maybe you haven’t found your dream job or your person. Maybe you’re just trying to keep your head above water.
Be kind to yourself. Be patient.
Because there is hope. Things do get better. Unexpected opportunities will find you.
Despite the hard times, I had people who saw me – my family, my friends and a few teachers who believed in me when I didn’t know how to believe in myself. By Grade 10, I decided to take control of my future. I set a goal to study for my dream career as a teacher at the university of my choice. I worked hard to make it happen. I matriculated with results I never thought possible – and had multiple university offers.
University brought new growth. Amid the excitement and chaos, I proved I could thrive academically. I also met some of my closest friends. That chapter of my life gave me the confidence to keep going — and ultimately, to earn my Honours in Psychology with distinction, all while balancing a full-time job.
If you’d told the younger me that I’d achieve all this… I’m sure she wouldn’t have believed you. But maybe – just maybe – she would’ve felt a little more hope.
We can’t go back and tell our past selves that it’s all going to be okay.
But we can hold compassion for them.
