New York. Tuesday 24 October 2023. Around 12:40.
I opened the bag and when I saw them in there things suddenly got pretty real. Good start to a book don’t you think? 🤔😏
You see, I’ve been working on some personal, and pretty long term, goals and as I’m sure some of you know, it can be very hard to anchor your thoughts and motivation around goals in the current reality especially if it’s still quite a way away.
Sometimes you need reminders that you’ve committed to some or other goal. That’s where milestones and small moments become so important. Things to make you feel you’re moving in the right direction and, when it gets hard to keep the positivity and momentum going, to keep you believing in the visions and dreams in your head.
Momentum and positivity and that little push you need can be be found in anything if, and it’s a huge if, you’re open to it and looking for it.
Now I mentioned this last week, but talking about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Thinking or dreaming about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Making to do lists and preparing to do the thing, is not doing the thing.
Posting on social media about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Convincing yourself you can do the thing, is not doing the thing.
Only doing the thing, is doing the thing.
But here’s the thing. Unless you’re a David Goggins type character, on your route to the thing you are going to need a little push here and there. A little reminder of what you’re working towards and that you need to keep going.
It could be anything. Seeing the red boots. An image on Instagram. A quote. Someone saying one thing that, even though they don’t even know it, makes you feel you can push on and not give up.
I encourage and push each of coaching clients to sit down and set short, medium and long term goals for themselves. And to have a white whale.
It gives you something to work towards and focus on and this is vitally important not only to add a sense or future thinking and excitement to your life but it’s also a must for your own mental health.
Set and chase goals and decide to work towards something or sit in your house feeling sorry for yourself. At the end of the day, the choice is yours. You know it is.
Now there are three mental health pillars – generative drive, aggression drive, and pleasure drive – continue to play a significant role in our well-being and daily lives. Understanding and balancing these drives is essential for maintaining good mental health and I believe strongly that having clear goals, and a white whale, will go a long way to help with this.
The generative drive fuels our desire to create, contribute, and leave a lasting impact on the world. I use the term agency with my clients and it refers to this generative drive which motivates us to pursue our passions, set goals, and work towards achieving them. Nurturing this drive allows us to feel a sense of purpose and fulfilment.
The aggression drive, on the other hand, represents our ability to protect ourselves and assert our boundaries. When harnessed in a healthy way, it empowers us to stand up for our rights, advocate for our needs, and manage conflict effectively. It’s important to manage this drive constructively to avoid unnecessary stress and harm to ourselves and others.
The pleasure drive is all about finding joy and satisfaction in life. It encourages us to seek out experiences that bring us happiness and contentment. Balancing this drive is crucial to prevent overindulgence in short-term pleasures, which may lead to negative consequences for our mental health.
Setting goals and having a “white whale” can be instrumental in harnessing and harmonising the generative, aggression, and pleasure drives in your mental health journey.
Will share more on these drives and how they affect motivation and drive in a blog post on my website during the coming week.
For now though, the take home message is this <<First Name>>…
You need to set goals for yourself.
Short term and long term.
You need a goat that scares the shit out of you.
A white whale.
You need to have something to work towards.
Something that drives you.
That pulls you.
Doesn’t matter what it is.
Physical health.
Mental health.
Financial.
An adventure.
It doesn’t matter what it is.
But you need something.
To push you.
Pull you forward.
To make the hard work you put in worth it.
You need to set goals for yourself.
Short term and long term.
You need a goat that scares the shit out of you.
A white whale.
Doesn’t matter what it is.
One last important thing to remember.
Your successful execution of whatever goal you decide to chase is not the point. The value is in having something to work towards. To focus on. To obsess about a little. Something that you can direct your attention to when things get hard and to lean into when you feel you have momentum on your side.
Anyway, let’s circle back to the moment I saw them in the bag in New York. I bought them a while ago as I need them for what I’m planning for the next 3 years (read white whale).
That small moment was enough to make my goal, which is still almost 3 years away, seem very real. Same goes for when I got another specific piece of equipment. It was that little reminder that I have committed to something and that I will not back down from it.
The push and motivation you need might not come in the form or specialist adventure equipment. It could be a conversation. A scene in a movie. Song lyrics. A quote on Instagram. It could, and probably will, be a combination of a number of different reminders and small pushes.
If you’re open to it.
But, before any of that is going to happen.
Before the world reminds you of the things you want and are working towards.
You need something to work towards.
You need a goal.
(And a white whale)
Or you can stay on the couch and feel sorry for yourself and continue to convince yourself that the things you deep down dream about is only for other people.
If you’re not sure where to start, please reply to this mail and let’s chat!
As a mindset and performance coach I can help you make sense of your goals and how to start the amazing and exciting world of chasing something.
It can be scary but, and trust me I know cause I’m going through it right now, it is so, so worth it. 🙏🏼
