Sitting across from clients these past months, I’ve noticed something that keeps showing up – this reflexive reach for heavy words like “trauma” and “triggered” when life throws its usual curves. It’s gotten me thinking deeply about how we name our pain.

Look, I get it. When someone disagrees with your perspective in that team meeting or when a relationship hits turbulent waters, it can feel like your world is shaking. But here’s what I’ve learned from countless conversations in my coaching room and during my own therapy sessions: there’s a world of difference between a genuine trigger – the kind that sends your nervous system into survival mode – and those intense but normal emotional responses that come with being human.

True trauma lives in the body. It’s that ancient echo that shapes how you move through the world, sometimes so subtly you might not even notice its choreography. But not every difficult experience carves itself into your bones. Sometimes, what we’re facing is just life’s inherent adversity – the very resistance that, when met with courage, builds the strength we need for the road ahead.

I’ve watched men in my practice wrestle with this distinction. One client recently paused mid-session, as the realization hit: what he’d been labeling as trauma was actually an invitation to grow stronger. That moment of clarity changed everything for him. True story.

Here’s what I’ve found works: When you feel overwhelmed, pause. Take a breath that goes all the way down to your feet. Ask yourself: Is this a genuine trigger that needs professional support, or am I facing emotions that, while uncomfortable, are actually trying to show me something important? Am I dealing with true trauma, or is this life asking me to expand?

Your emotions aren’t marching orders – they’re messengers. Sometimes they’re warning you of real danger, but often they’re simply mapping out the territory of your own growth edge.

If you’re curious about exploring this territory more deeply, about learning to distinguish between what wounds and what strengthens, feel free to get in touch.

Because getting this right changes everything.