Picture this. I’m on a zodiac in Greenland, cruising back to our ship after what can only be described as a once-in-a-lifetime polar bear sighting. I’m talking one of my top 5 ever. The air is crisp, the icy landscape is fucking amazing, and we’re all riding this collective high of the experience we just shared

In between the excitement and stunned silences, someone exclaims how incredibly happy they are in that singular moment. It was so awesome to witness pure, unadulterated joy sparked by something as profound as being in the presence of one of the largest land-based predators in the world in Greenland’s majestic beauty.

But then something happened that left me kinda flabbergasted.

Another person in our group had the audacity to comment that this person had “a very low barrier of entry to happiness.”

Let that sink in for a moment.

A very low barrier of entry to happiness.

The Happiness Police: A New Low

I’ll be honest, I wanted to say something right then and there. But the timing was wrong, and sometimes you’ve got to let the absurdity of a moment speak for itself.

But here’s what I wish I had said. If all it takes is experiencing an awe-inspiring polar bear sighting in the vast landscapes of Greenland to make you happy, good for you. Damn man, great for you!

Because in that moment, it became crystal clear to me how easy it actually is to be happy – if we allow ourselves to be.

The High Cost of High Standards

Here’s the truth. Some people out there are imposing ridiculously high standards for their own happiness. And it’s not just sad – it’s downright dangerous.

Why?

Because if you fall into this trap (and I hope none of you do!), all you’re doing is making your own life miserable.

And guess what?

You’re probably making life pretty damn unpleasant for those around you too.

The Low Barrier Advantage

So let’s flip the script. What if, instead of sneering at those who find joy easily, we learnt from them? What if we embraced a lower barrier to happiness?

Here’s what that might look like:

1. Celebrate the Small Wins: Did you wake up breathing today? Win. Got through a tough meeting? Another win. Journalled? Good. Exercised. Well done. Saw a beautiful sunset? You’re on fire!
2. Embrace the Moment: Whether you’re in Greenland or your own backyard, there’s beauty to be found. Open your eyes to it.
3. Lower Your Happiness Threshold: Instead of waiting for monumental events, find joy in the everyday. It’s not lowering your standards; it’s expanding your capacity for joy.
4. Spread the Joy: When you see someone genuinely happy about something “small,” celebrate with them instead of judging. Their happiness doesn’t diminish yours.
5. Check Your Pessimism: If you find yourself looking down on someone’s joy, ask yourself why. What’s really behind that judgement.

Self-Imposed Barriers and Self-Sabotage: The Enemy Within

Now, let’s talk about something that hits close to home for many of us in our everyday lives – self-imposed barriers to happiness. Yeah, we’re going there.

Heard of the anxiety trap? Here’s a hard truth: Sometimes, the biggest obstacle to our happiness isn’t the critic on the zodiac boat – it’s the critic in our own heads.

Anxiety tells us we’re not worthy of happiness unless we achieve X, Y, and Z. It whispers that we don’t deserve to feel joy until we’ve “earned” it. Bullshit.

Anxiety is the ultimate thief of joy. It keeps us focused on what could go wrong instead of what’s going right. It’s like wearing blinders that only let us see the negative.

And then there’s self-sabotage – the twisted art of pulling the rug out from under our own feet. Why do we do this?

Often, it’s because happiness feels unfamiliar, even scary.

Think about it.

Have you ever downplayed an achievement because you were afraid of coming across as boastful?

Have you ever turned down an opportunity because you didn’t feel “ready” or “worthy”?

Have you ever found yourself creating drama or problems when things were going too smoothly?

That’s self-sabotage in action. And it’s time to call it out for what it is: a misguided attempt at self-protection that’s actually robbing us of joy.

So how do we break free from these self-imposed shackles?

Here are a few things to think about:

1. Awareness is Key: Start by recognising your patterns. When do you feel anxious about being happy? When do you tend to self-sabotage?
2. Challenge Your Thoughts: When that inner critic pipes up, ask yourself: “Is this thought helpful? Is it even true?” Often, it’s neither.
3. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. You wouldn’t tell a friend they don’t deserve to be happy, would you?
4. Set Realistic Expectations: Perfectionism is the enemy of happiness. Aim for progress, not perfection.
5. Embrace Discomfort: Yes, allowing yourself to be happy might feel uncomfortable at first. Lean into that discomfort. It’s where growth happens.
6. Seek Support: Sometimes, we need help dismantling these barriers. There’s no shame in talking to a therapist or coach. Get in touch if you don’t know where to start. I can help!

The capacity for happiness isn’t a gift bestowed upon a chosen few. It’s a skill we can all develop.

Your anxiety, your self-doubt, your tendency to self-sabotage – they’re not character flaws. They’re habits. And habits can be changed.

So the next time you find yourself hesitating to embrace a moment of joy, ask yourself: “What barrier am I putting up right now? And what would happen if I chose to lower it, just for this moment?”

Because here’s the thing: You don’t need to be in Greenland to find moments of awe and happiness. But you do need to be willing to open yourself up to the possibility of joy, wherever you are.

The Waiting Game: The Biggest Happiness Fuck-Up

Right, so we’ve talked about external judgement and self-imposed barriers, and now it’s time to address the elephant in the room: inaction. You know, that tendency to sit on your ass waiting for good things to happen, like they’re pizza deliveries you ordered.

Spoiler alert: Happiness isn’t Uber Eats. It’s not going to show up at your door just because you’re feeling a bit peckish for joy. Yeah, read that again.

Here’s a hard truth that might sting a little: If you’re waiting for happiness to find you, you’re going to be waiting a long fucking time. There is no such thing as passive happiness.

Too many people fall into this trap. They blame their lack of happiness, their unfulfilled dreams, and their stagnant lives on everything but themselves.

“I’m not happy because I haven’t found the right partner yet.”

“I’d be happier if I had a better job, but no one’s offering me one.”

“I’ll be content once I have more money, but that’s not happening right now.”

Sound familiar? It should, because it’s the soundtrack of mediocrity playing on repeat in countless lives.

And then there’s the perfection paralysis. The “I’m not 100% ready” bullshit that keeps people rooted to the spot:

“I’ll start that business when I have all the skills.”

“I’ll ask for that promotion when I’m absolutely sure I deserve it.”

“I’ll pursue that dream when the timing is perfect.”

News flash: You’ll never be 100% ready. The timing will never be perfect. And while you’re waiting for these imaginary perfect conditions, life is passing you by. So is happiness.

So what’s the antidote to this waiting game? It’s simple, and you know the answer.

Action.

Action is the difference between the person on my Greenland trip finding joy in the moment and the critic waiting for some arbitrary standard of happiness to be met.

Here’s how to shift from waiting to doing:

1. Start Before You’re Ready: Don’t wait until you feel prepared. Start now, and figure it out as you go. Fix the plane while it’s flying.
2. Embrace Imperfection: Done is better than perfect. An imperfect start beats a perfect plan every time.
3. Create Opportunities: Don’t wait for happiness to knock. Go out and create situations that bring you joy.
4. Set Micro-Goals: Break big dreams into small, actionable steps. Then take those steps. Every. Single. Day.
5. Celebrate Small Wins: Did you make one phone call towards your goal today? That’s a win. Celebrate it.
6. Learn from Failure: Every “failure” is a lesson. Collect these lessons like they’re rare Pokémon cards.
7. Surround Yourself with Doers: Want to be more active? Hang out with people who make shit happen.

Please remember this: happiness isn’t a spectator sport. It’s not something that happens to you; it’s something you create through your choices and actions.

My person in Greenland? She didn’t wait for the perfect moment to be happy. She chose to embrace the joy of the experience she was actively participating in. Heard of being present?

So the next time you catch yourself waiting for happiness to arrive, ask yourself, “What can I do right now, in this moment, to create a bit more joy in my life?”

Because here’s the kicker: The universe doesn’t give a fuck about your happiness. It’s not its job to make you happy. That’s your job. And it’s a job that requires showing up and putting in the work every single day.

So get off your ass, stop waiting, and start doing. Your happiness literally depends on it.

The Bottom Line

Life is too fucking short and too precious to gate-keep happiness. Or even worse, letting other people do it for you! If you can find ecstasy in Greenland’s icy vistas, a good cup of coffee, or a friend’s smile, do it. Chase that feeling. Cultivate it. Obsess about it.

Because here’s the kicker: Those who can find happiness in the small things aren’t less sophisticated or easily pleased. They’re the ones who have mastered the art of living.

Remember: The goal isn’t to be happy only when extraordinary things happen. It’s to find extraordinary happiness in the ordinary moments.

So, the next time you’re tempted to judge someone’s “low barrier to happiness,” stop. Just stop.

Instead, ask yourself, “How can I lower my own barriers? How can I open myself up to more joy?”

Because in the end, the person with the most moments of happiness wins. Not the one who had the highest standards.

Stay hungry for life, stay open to joy, look for it, and for all that’s good in the world, enjoy the breathtaking wonders when life shares them with you, whether it’s in Greenland or your own backyard.

The next time you find yourself in an extraordinary moment – or even an ordinary one – ask yourself, “Can I allow myself to be fully happy right now?”

I promise you, the answer might just change your life.

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