Don’t worry, this is s safe space.
Have you heard that before? Said it to someone? Know what it means?
There’s actually something important to that phrase.
In psychology the term ‘holding space’ refers to being physically, mentally, and emotionally present for someone. It means putting your focus on someone to support them as they feel their feelings, whatever they may be.
Holding space for someone is not as much about ‘doing’ but rather just about ‘being’.
There’s a reason why therapy or coaching sessions feels ‘safe’. It’s because you can feel a space in which you can lean into vulnerability and share without judgement, fear or reservation.
Holding space is not about trying fix things or help someone, it’s about being present and creating a positive space in which you’re not overly involved and you’re not focused on your own emotions.
Holding space for someone is a special gift you have to offer and here are a few things you can think of when you hold space for someone.
- Do not jump into problem-solving mode and don’t try to fix things.
- Don’t insert yourself into the situation. Focus on the other person.
- Focus on listening. Really listening.
- Reassure the other person that whatever painful, confusing of complicated emotions come up, that you’re there for them.
- Make sure they know that you are there for them. Reassure them that you believe in them regardless of how they may feel.
Holding space for someone seems like a pretty simple things but takes practise and requires you to make sure you take care of yourself as well.
Holding space for someone if a privilege and something to never, whichever side of the table you’re sitting, take for granted.
