When was the last time you changed your mind about something?
Sure, I’m talking about things you like or don’t like but let’s go a bit deeper.
What about beliefs you hold or a public stance you’ve taken on something that, at the risk of seeming weak or being judged and ridiculed by others, you now won’t even consider reassessing?
Dare we even mention political views?
For the longest time I believed, and took the stance, that Crocs are something you won’t find me dead in and that the little holes in the shoes are where your dignity and self worth leaks out when you were them. A few days ago I was in New York and I actually tried on a pair and was pleasantly surprised and a little shocked as to how comfortably they were. It was like my feet were being cuddled by a whole pack of cute little baby pugs. It was quite delightful.
I have also, over the last few years, changed the way I think and feel about politics and that whole confusing shit-how that we get bombarded with on a daily basis. The problem with this minefield is that we’re expected to have an all or nothing approach. That you’re either with us or against us and that there’s no room for having an opinion that bridges two sides of the divide. That’s like being offered two amazing, but very different, breakfast buffets and being told you can only eat from one.
But what then if, even if I used to only eat from one buffet, I now want a croissant from the one table and a cappuccino from the other? Nope, not allowed cause that would mean you are changing your mind and that makes some people very uncomfortable and you run the risk of being seen as indecisive.
However, the truth is that changing your mind is you making a decision. It’s making a decision to grow as a person and it shows you’re not stuck to beliefs and behaviours that hold you back and stop you from evolving.
Now Crocs and politics aside, let’s talk about changing your mind about being a better person. About living a fuller life. About being a happier human being.
I do not know of a single person who doesn’t want to have a better life, be happier and healthier or feel more valued, more appreciated and more loved as a person.
The magic you’re looking for is behind the decisions you’re not making and more often than any of us would like to admit, that would mean changing your mind on something. Just to be clear, allow me to rephrase that for you.
Your unwillingness or inability to change your mind is holding you back from growing and having the life you dream of.
You don’t believe me right? And yes, if this makes you a little uncomfortable you probably know already the things in your life you might need to look at changing your mind about.
Until the day you make the decision that you deserve to have a better life and be happier, nothing will change. During the last few years I have spoken with many people who, if they were to change their mind about some very basic self-imposed beliefs and behaviours their life would start changing almost overnight.
You see, with changing your mind comes uncertainty, work and a responsibility to yourself to follow through. Uncertainty because you’re stepping out of a comfort zone that has been giving you the perception of safety and being happy with your status quo. Work because most of the times when you change your mind about something it will require you to put extra attention towards the decision and do somethign to follow through. And the responsibility to your own follow through often leaves people crippled because they forget that if you do change your mind about something you don’t have to live and die by that decision. You can just, when needed, change your mind again and keep changing it until you find the place where you find what you’re looking for and what behaviours and beliefs serve you best.
When it comes to self development and self care many of us, many of you, are not seeing the results you want because of your refusal to change your mind.
If you don’t change your mind that you do actually deserve more in life, nothing will change.
If you don’t change your mind that you can have a better relationship, nothing will change.
If you don’t change your mind that you can be healthier and fitter, nothing will change.
If you don’t change your mind that you are capable of more in your job and career, nothing will change.
Everything starts with a decision and more often the not the decision you know you need to make is hidden under layers of self-imposed beliefs and behaviours and a mind that needs to change.
Now here is the problem that a lot of people run into when it comes to growth and this is something I see often in coaching sessions.
Talking about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Thinking about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Dreaming about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Preparing to do the thing, is not doing the thing.
Making to do lists about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Buying things to do the thing, is not doing the thing.
Posting on social media about doing the thing, is not doing the thing.
Only doing the thing, is doing the thing.
We hide behind the most random, and sometimes elaborate behaviours and excused in order to not have to face reality and change our mind about who we are and what we know we need to do.
Some of the things you’ll here someone say when they don’t want to change their mind.
“I don’t have time.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t deserve it better.”
“I’m not good enough.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“It’s too hard.”
“I’m broken and can’t change.”
“I’ve tried everything.”
The fact of the matter is that if you’re saying any of those things you’re holding yourself back and you’re scared to make the decisions that deep down you know you need to make. You have absolutely no right to complain about the results you didn’t get from work you didn’t do.
Make the fucking decision! Please, please, please start making the decision that will lead you to a better, healthier, happier life. Yes, it might feel impossible and hard and overwhelming and scary as hell but that will just show you that it will be worth it in the end!
This incredible, frightening, wonderful, confusing thing called life is one helluva ride so how silly are we to expect to not have to change the way we think and act as we move through our own magical journeys?
Can you imagine if you had to navigate your entire life based on your beliefs and behaviours as a 20-somethign year old and never changing your mind about it? Yeah, would be a total disaster and I can’t even imagine where I would be if I hadn’t changed my mind quite a few times along the road.
We should be seeking out change. We should be looking for new things to do and try and experience. And if we don’t like it, change your mind, just keep going and do and try and experience other things.
Damn man, we have one shot at this life so don’t fuck it up by holding yourself back because you’re too scared to change your mind! Life is, when you choose to see and embrace it, absolutely beautiful!
<NAME>, I’m not asking you to buy and wear Crocs in public. I’m asking you to be open to change and allow yourself to explore that part of you that you know is behind your fears and insecurities. Explore the possibilities of the person you wish, and deep down know, you can be if you’d only open to changing your mind about some things.
If you feel you can’t be better or different, it’s time to start changing your mind.
You know it’s possible and you know it’s worth it.
Having a strong opinion is a mark of intellect but having the ability to change it, is the mark of true intelligence.
The personal growth you are looking for, the health and happiness and life you are looking for, is waiting for you behind a few decisions that may require you to change your mind on a few things. 🙏🏼
