Life, and how we navigate our way through it, can be divided into two different themes.
We have one way of dealing with what we want and another way of dealing with what we have.
I’m sure this will already make you think of things in your own life and how you think and feel about it but let’s dig a bit deeper.
John Douglas Pettigrew, a neuroscientist and professor of physiology at the University of Queensland, found that our brain makes sense of the world around us by dividing it into two different spaces – peripersonal or extrapersonal – basically near and far from us.
Peripersonal refers to pretty much anything in your immediate surrounds, anything that is basically within arms reach, and extrapersonal is everything else.
So with that said, the following obvious but important fact presents itself.
Everything in your extraperosonal space would require you to move in order to interact with it which means, since it would take time to cover distance, the interaction would happen in the future.
In order to get to, and enjoy, anything in your extrapersonal space therefore requires time, planning and effort. Whatever the desire is that you’re after, that you are planning to get, will build anticipation.
Enters dopamine.
First discovered in 1957 and initially called the ‘pleasure’ molecule , dopamine is a neurotransmitter that has various functions by sending messages between neurons.
As humans, we get a dopamine hit when we’re presented with the possibility of something unfamiliar. Something better. Something exciting. Something new.
Dopamine isn’t as much about pleasure but rather about the pleasure of anticipation.
Shopping, smelling cookies baking in the oven, sex, social media.
A promise of any of these future events could trigger a dopamine hit as there is a very distinct pleasure waiting at the end of a certain amount of time of anticipation.
Wherever you are right now, try something with me.
Look down.
What do you see?
The chair you’re sitting on? Your shoes? Car? Perhaps your laptop and a cup of coffee?
All of these things are things you can touch, control, manipulate or move around without any planning, thought or too much effort.
Now look up.
What do you see?
The ceiling? A fan perhaps? Pictures on the wall? Or outside the window you might see clouds? Other buildings? Trees?
To reach any of these these you would have to, in differing degrees of difficulty, do a bit of planning and put in some effort.
See the link with peripersonal and extrapersonal space around you?
Now at the risk of oversimplifying this, looking down your brain will manage your reality by releasing a number of chemicals which is aimed at making you savour and enjoy the moment or, if you’re in a bit of a tight spot, make you fight or flee.
When you look up, your brain releases different chemicals which makes you think about and desire things you don’t have and motivates you to search out new and exciting things. It will reward you when you follow your desires and make you suffer when you don’t.
This desire, the need to search out new and exciting things, is the source of creativity and, further down the spectrum, the key to addiction.
Remember what I said in the beginning of this article? We have one way of dealing with what we want and another way of dealing with what we have.
Now I know, and I’ve said it often, that’s important to live in the now and savour the moment as worrying about the past too much can lead to depression and stressing about the future too much can lead to anxiety.
That said, the pleasure of anticipation is something that, if you’re not aware of it can make you not only loose focus on the moment but also start chasing dopamine highs.
This is not necassarily a bad thing and, as with anything, it’s intent that matters and what you do with it. I could give you a pencil and you could either draw a beautiful picture with it or you could stab someone in the eye with it. Intent.
The pleasure of anticipation.
Extrapersonal.
Scrolling Instagram.
Get it?
With every single scroll of your thumb you are getting more and more lost in a digital extrapersonal space which is flooding your brain with dopamine as you look for new things. Exciting things. Different things. Fresh things.
I think you know what I mean. You’re not on your phone. You take the time and energy to reach for it – you cant help it. You have to. You pull down to refresh. The anticipation is addictive. What will I see? You start scrolling. Only two new posts before you start seeing the same things you did a few moments ago. You keep scrolling. You can’t help it. You have to. You suddenly realize nothing is new. But anticipation makes you scroll a few times more. Just in case. You stop and put your phone away. but then, the anticipation starts building again and you start wanting the dopamine hight that comes with chasing the new and fresh and unknown and exciting.
A great example of how the pleasure of anticipation can be a totally futile exercise and a slippery slope to addiction. And yes, more people than you think are actually ‘addicted’ to their phones and social media. Are you?
The pleasure of anticipation doesn’t always have to be negative or a road to the dark side though.
Imagine the incredible upside to your wellbeing, your headspace, your goals and your life if you could get excited about, and keep seeking out, the pleasure of anticipation around activities and people and nutrients and protocols and events that will challenge you, make you feel better, make think better, make you… better!
It’s possible, I promise you it is and I can tell you from personal experience with some of my coaching clients I have been working with, that the ROI of focusing on the pleasure of anticipation of things that will make your life better – regardless of how hard it might seem is huge and one of the most certain ways to start changing you life!
Over the next few weeks we will dig into some more ideas, exercises and protocols you could try and work on in order to be more focused and happier and less anxious and more fulfilled and just all round better.
For now though, all I need you to do is to start looking at, and become aware of, the things that you look forward to.
Become aware of where your mind pulls you and the things that make you do things in ‘autopilot’.
Become aware of your peripersonal and extrapersonal space.
Become aware of the things that make you – whether you really want to or not – move from one to the other.
Become aware of looking down.
And what you see.
Become aware of looking up.
And what you think and feel.
Just becoming aware of all this is a pretty good start to figuring out what you want, where you focus, what things you want to do and what things you are doing that you really don’t have to. Or shouldn’t be doing.
I reckon that if you’re honest with yourself, you might find quite interesting answers. 🙏🏼
If you’d like to connect to share some ideas on your thoughts or chat about ways to shift your focus to, or away from, certain things get in touch and let’s chat!
