Serious question.
When was the last time you felt light-hearted and exhilarated?
When is the last time you lost track of time because of doing something you love without any thoughts about the future or the past?
When was the last time you didn’t feel judged either by yourself or by other people?
When was the last time you felt free?
When was the last time you felt alive?
Or, let me try and ask it in a more simple, condensed manner.
When was the last time you had fun?
And no, before you answer, let’s just agree that being on your phone, scrolling on social media or sitting on the couch watching TV doesn’t count as fun.
I say that cause I’ve heard too many people say that they’re going to take a break to just switch off and ‘be on their phone.’
Picture this for a moment.
I show you someone who picks up a newspaper, reads for a few minutes, puts it down and then proceeds to do that for 12 times during a 30 minute period.
Or someone in front of a TV.
Turns it on, changes channels a number of time, watches something for a few seconds and turns the TV off. And they do that 12 times during a 30 minute period.
Would you think these people are having fun?
Or would you think they’re a bit obsessive and strange and have some serious issues?
Yet we see people do this every single day on their phones.
And they call it fun? And call it ‘just a way to break from reality’?
Some people think that they’re not capable of having without a device or screen because they’re anxious and depressed and the screen is the fastest and easiest way to escape that reality.
Is your reality so fucked up that you need a break from it? All the time?
This is a huge growing problem and the past decade has seen massive increases in rates of depression and anxiety among people around the world.
Do you think it’s a coincidence that time spent on devices and screens have also increased dramatically?
Now correlation does not equal causation and even though there has not been an official diagnosis, many people around the world, many of us, are suffering from emptiness, loneliness, boredom, and a general sense of languishing yet we continue to look towards our devices for an escape. For inspiration and motivation. For hope. For fun.
You know the work-life balance concept? Well, perhaps it’s time for you, me and all of us to have a serious look at our screen-life balance. Give that one some thought.
Here’s a hard truth and something I know many of you would agree with, even if only deep deep down.
People are scared to have fun.
You see, one of the foundational issues we face, when it comes to making fun a priority in our life, is that we have been conditioned to believe that the pursuit of fun, of having fun, is frivolous, selfish, and self-indulgent, even immature and childish.
I have seen so many people, from various walks of life, get pulled towards fun – it literally finds them – and then as they actually start loosing themselves in the moments and they start actually having fun… they suddenly stop, check themselves and pull back to behind the wall that keeps them and their ego safe and serious.
Here’s the thing a lot of people need to realize.
Life is not a zero-sum equation: we can care about fun and be conscientious citizens who are committed to improving the world—indeed, fun can give us more energy with which to do so.
Fun shouldn’t be an afterthought.
Fun should be our north star.
Fun, REAL fun isn’t just a result of happiness, it’s a cause.
‘Fake’ fun, such as binge-watching shows to the point that your eyes glaze over, buying things you don’t really need online, mindlessly scrolling through social media for hours at a time or looking for fun at the bottom of a glass will leave you numb and empty and unfulfilled when it’s done
On the other hand, real fun will make you feel nourished and refreshed and more.
And then the more you do it, the more you taste it, the more you enjoy it and the more you want it, the more you value and appreciate it.
It’s literally like a diet where you get to eat more of the foods you love.
Now there are three important parts to having real fun.
Playfulness, connection and flow.
Playfulness is something a lot of people, a lot of you, need to lean into and search out while at the same time getting over yourself and the bullshit belief that it’s not ‘proper’ to be a little childish now and then.
Connection refers to being connected in the moment of playfulness. This connection could be with another person, a group of people or even your dog or camera.
Flow, the last of the three requirements for fun, refers to the psychological state of being completely consumed in the moment with no other thoughts. You could almost think of it as a state of zen.
Add those three together and you’ll be well on your way to having fun.
Real fun!
Quite often, as a part of our aim to be better or as a part of self-care or self-development we tend to focus our efforts on seeking out and working towards more “serious” goals such as achieving happiness, status, wealth, long-term health, and a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives.
We tend to pursue these goals blindly and sometimes in quite an obsessive manner, reading self-help books, seeing therapists, taking antidepressants and sweating through workouts.
To those of you who might resonate with that last paragraph I’d like to ask you this…
When was the last time you had fun?
And if you can’t answer that question, maybe it’s time to have a serious look in the mirror and maybe, just maybe, you need to call yourself out on your own bullshit and ego and accept the fact that you’re not having enough fun in your life.
Far from being frivolous or selfish, the pursuit of fun will help you achieve your goals. And you’ll fun in doing so.
More than this, if you want your own life to be satisfying and joyful then having fun isn’t optional.
I know that a lot of you reading this will just think “yeah, whatever” but I also know that deep down under all the bravado and confidence and coping mechanisms, you know I’m right.
Gonna say this one more time…
Far from being frivolous or selfish, the pursuit of fun will help you achieve your goals.
And you’ll fun in doing so.
More than this, if you want your own life to be satisfying and joyful then having fun isn’t optional. ✌🏼
