We all have bad habits.
Some of them we would admit too, others maybe not so much.
And then there are some habits, which are unfortunately quite common, that many of us but either choose not to see or just give up and feel that it’s not worth it to address.
Here are a few habit which, if you were to face them and try and unlearn them, your life would change.
- Ignoring your needs
My parents always impressed on me that it’s not cool to be selfish. And yes there is some truth to that but, and this is a very big but, it’s not selfish if you are doing things for you while not negatively impacting other.
Ignoring your own needs is one of the fastest roads to unhappiness, negativity, sadness, lack of purpose and a life where you leave, well, life on the table.
Being selfish – looking after your own needs – is not wrong and it’s something you should focus on. As long as you don’t compromise other people while doing.
But be careful though, because people will, because of their own negativity and insecurities, make you feel bad for wanting to be the best version of yourself. That is a them problem.
Stop ignoring your own needs and be more selfish about the things you need in your life!
- Trying to always “win” the argument
It’s pointless and honestly quite unrealistic to always want to win every argument you get into.
We often get stuck in totally pointless arguments just to try and make a point or to project our own issues, negativity and stress onto others.
There is no good to be found in doing this and often it’s your ego not wanting to back off.
And hey, maybe if you stop trying so hard to be right you might actually learn something new, be nice to someone else and not compromise your own mental health purely for the reason of ‘winning’.
- Comparing yourself to others
Stop.
Just stop.
This is something I tell a lot of my clients.
When it comes to other people and the way they do things or what they think you you…
You should care, but you shouldn’t give a fuck.
Yes, it’s a fine line.
But get that right and your life will change!
But comparing yourself to other people?
Stop.
Please just stop.
- Trying to change people
This is something that so many people try and do because they refuse to look in the mirror and face up to some hard truths.
Think about this.
How damn hard is it to change yourself?
Yeah, sometimes it feels almost impossible to change.
I know, Ive been there.
So now why do you expect you can change other people if, quite often, you can’t even change yourself?
Focus on you.
That’s the change you want.
- Yelling to get your way
The moment you get to yelling in order to get your way or win an argument of to prove a point, you loose.
The moment you get to that point, you don’t have control of yourself or the situation.
And you know what?
When you get to that point where you loose your shit, deep down you know and feel you’ve lost control and then all you can do is to push harder and shout more.
Yelling to get your way doesn’t work.
And you know this.
- Negative self talk
This is probably one of the biggest challenges many of us face.
Negativity is louder than positivity.
It goes back to our caveman days where negative stimuli was way more important that positive signs because if you ignored them, you could die.
In today’s culture a lot of people who are lost and confused and empty and lack direction in their life use negativity to get attention and find their ‘misery loves company’ tribe.
It’s fucking hard, but if you can get to the point where you recognise that you’re engaging in negative self-talk you can start addressing it.
Speak to me about shadow work because, of you choose to go there, you will be surprised as to how much energy you can extract from your negative thoughts and feelings and translate it into positive actions and change in your life.
And make sure to check out the exercise I share later on in this newsletter.
- Not sleeping enough
There is not a single thing in your life that won’t benefit from you getting better sleep.
I used to struggle with sleep but that has changed dramatically and the effects gave been amazing on every level.
Here’s the thing you need to understand and wrap your head around.
And this is important.
Sleep is not something that just happens to you.
Sleep is something you need to go after, control and focus on in the same way you focus on going to gym and the food you eat.
There is absolutely no downside to getting better sleep and you can focus on making that happen.
- Underestimating the importance of physical activity
You are never going to be the best version of you of you don’t look after yourself.
It really is that simple.
And yes, you do have time!
It is still shocking to me how many people underestimate the importance of physical activity and being fit and in shape and healthy.
And no, it’s not about being a cover model with abs and shredded delts.
It’s about feeling better.
It’s about respecting yourself.
It’s about feeling good.
It’s about mental health.
It’s about not feeling like shit in your own skin.
It’s about not dying from illnesses and diseases you can control!
Seriously, every single part of your life will be better if you feel better.
- Self sabotaging
A behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with your long-standing goals and is often linked to limiting beliefs you might be holding on to.
The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting
Read this, and then start valuing your life and yourself enough to see the reality of not only what you’re doing to yourself but also the amount of happiness and life you’re leaving on the table.
- Not believing you are allowed to be better
It’s scary to level up. To get better at life.
Because suddenly people around you will see in you a new light and expect more from you. Which then leads to you doubting yourself.
More than that, when you level up you start expecting more from yourself and to some, that’s a very strange reality to be faced with.
Some of the habits you might have that will keep you from believing you can level up:
- Avoiding difficult conversation with people closest to you.
- Spending time with people who don’t make you a better version of yourself.
- Reading the self help books but not doing anything.
- Reaching out for help or advice and not following through.
- Always find a reason to not do what you damn well know you should.
We all have bad habits. Some of them we would admit too, others maybe not so much.
First step, as with a lot of things, is to be honest with yourself. And then work on your plan of attack.
You’ll know what your bad habits are.
And you’ll also know what to do in order to start changing.
You simply need to stop bullshitting yourself that you can’t change.
And just need to do it. ✌🏼
